What If Shinji Met Death?
by Babel Matrix
Summary: EvangelionSandman. What if Shinji drew Death's attention... and what if Shinji was drawn to her as well?
1. Prologue: The Watcher

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that belongs to GAINAX, Marvel, or Vertigo. Don't sue.

Author's Notes: The first version of this story's introductory chapter was a terrible display of rushed work that I quickly summed up with a most uncreative ending. For wasting the time of readers who read that butchered piece, I apologize, and hope that you will read this version, into which I actually put honest effort and time. In this version I've added the intended prologue, inspired by Marvel's What If… series. The prologue chapter is practically the first part of Chapter One, I simply wanted to have it stand alone. Yes, it's short, so don't consider it a chapter, consider Chapter One a chapter.

* * *

Prologue: The Watcher

I am the Watcher. Over the millennia, I've observed, measured and remembered the countless events that have occurred throughout the universe, noting every significant occurrence in it's own right. Therefore, trust in me when I tell you that no planet or star bears quite as much significance as the planet Earth, for here is where a God may be born, where Humanity may perish, where the fate of the universe… and myself… may be decided.

I watched as the year 2015 rolled by, the fate of Mankind hanging in its balance. The mighty Angels, colossal beings of power from a source I cannot yet fully understand, assault the city of Tokyo-3, their dimensions and abilities confounding and countering the normal measures used by the Earth's military powers. Only the Evangelions, equally gargantuan humanoid monster-machines, have held the Angels at bay for this long, each fallen Angel a countdown to the brink of extinction of Mankind. Most significant of the pilots of these machines is Shinji Ikari, a 14-year-old boy who has never known real love, save that of a mother who perished in his youth and a father who ignored him ever since. The first battle between Shinji and an Angel went haywire, but was won nonetheless… the eye of the Evangelion was punctured, shooting through the skull of the Evangelion. Only the lack of synchronization saved the pilot from suffering death from such an assault…

But there are many instances of the universe, dimensions where slight things may be changed; and in one, we explore another possibility. What if Shinji had synchronized enough to suffer the effects of that blow? What if, even for a brief moment, Shinji had _died_ from the trauma? In this dimension, Shinji's nervous system shut down as though dead for a few moments, suffering trauma from the energy beam that shot through the Evangelion's brain.

* * *

_Somewhere in a room where Death resides…_

Shinji opened his eyes for just a moment, and then shut them tight as he saw the vast gray nothingness of where he was. Somehow, he knew he was dead. There was no feeling left in his body, no movement possible, no pulse of life or breath in his body. He opened his eyes again, and looked down at his body to find he was wrong, that he could move. The floor below him was steady, albeit the same solid, gray color of all the space around him. _What do I do now…?_ He briefly wondered.

"Now you come with me," said a cheery voice behind him. He spun around and, for a moment, he was speechless. Amongst the gray, a seemingly black and white image of a woman appeared. Her hair, t-shirt and jeans were all midnight black while her skin was a deathly pale white. A small curled up line sat below her left eye, her dark eye, her endlessly black eyes. She gave a small smile, almost a grin with black lipstick, but all too haunting to be considered human. She looked him up and down for a moment and furrowed her brow, her smile vanishing like mist in the afternoon sun. "You're not… dead. But I can feel permanent death hanging on you… take my hand, and I'll take you where you belong."

Shinji felt his hand move forward. _No, I mustn't, she's… she's…_ His hand touched hers, and everything went to black for a moment. Shinji could feel his body slowly vanishing, his mind's eye opening to see the flames of Hell that would devour his frame… and for just a moment, he screamed. A pulse of light in water, and the flames were gone.

* * *

_That was then…_


	2. Chapter One: The Death of Shinji Ikari

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that belongs to GAINAX, Marvel, or Vertigo. Don't sue.

Chapter One: The Death of Shinji Ikari

* * *

_**This is now.**_

_Unfamiliar cei--ouch…_

Shinji slowly sat up, holding his aching head. He was careful not to touch his right eye, where apparently a bruise had formed. He tried to sort his thoughts while looking down at the wrinkled sheets of his hospital bed. Sunlight spilled onto the white of his surroundings, making the room glow with an unearthly pale tone. His own skin seemed rough to him, and after bringing his arm close to his face, the smell of blood remained stagnant in his nostrils.

He looked up at his surroundings, at the medical supplies at his bedside, at the IV in his arm, and at the pale woman who stood by the windows. He sighed before laying back…

_Woman?_ He shot up in his bed to look again. There was no one there. _I need to rest… I'm delusional from…_ Fragments of the battle poured into his mind, but he tried hard to sleep, preferring to never remember what put him in the hospital.

* * *

"How goes the recovery of EVA unit One, Ritsuko?" Misato asked in the truck, yawning quite obnoxiously. Ritsuko smiled a bit at her friend's ruffled hair and tired eyes before replying, "It's already being returned to the cage… now our only problem is fixing the damage done to Tokyo-3 itself. And to the pilot, of course."

"I heard the medical technician, Ritsuko. They said he died—"

"They said his lifesigns stopped. They never announced him as officially dead," Ritsuko corrected.

"His lifesigns stopped for twenty seconds…" Misato sighed and relaxed in her chair until Ritsuko pinched her side.

"No sleeping yet, you've got paperwork."

Misato groaned at the thought and sat upright, slapping herself lightly to stay awake. She observed the damage done to the building to her right, at the repair site at which they arrived. The bottom looked as though it had been ripped from place, no doubt the building that was pushed fourteen blocks in the battle once EVA-01 went berserk. _To think we had to use restraining wires that were designed for Angels…_ Misato's mind became muddled with worry, both over her own ordeals with paperwork and the ordeal of near-death that the pilot now had to recover from. _Near-death… _

* * *

He found the strength to stand, although with shaking legs. His movements, he discovered, were sluggish at best and pathetic at worst. He was quick to sit back down on the bed, having grown tired from a few steps back and forth, and sighed with frustration. _Why am I here?_ More fragments of the battle flashed across his mind, but again he shrugged them off.

"I'm hungry." The blank walls did not answer him, nor did the door open in response. He sighed once more, and was startled by the feeling of eyes on his back. He turned to the window and, at the same spot he noted her at before, the woman stood. The image of her white and black disposition brought it back in a grand wave as memories flooded his mind. Most noted above all things of the battle was Death. Death stood in his room, and he had nothing to say to her. Her ever-present smile was still on her face, although he could barely see it as a cloud moved out of the sunlight's path, making her a silhouette.

Immediately he began recalling the many voices throughout his life, the comforting and cheating and lying voices, the evil and sweet and good voices, far and between and never all from the same source. But he could barely remember her voice, for it did not fit in any of these categories. She spoke again, filling him with a knot that seemed to encompass the entirety of his internal organs. "So you're alive after all. That's good, I guess, I don't think you enjoyed life very much, and I'd rather you do that before you come with me... quite the shiner you got there, kid."

Shinji could find nothing to say, nothing that could matter to this stark figure of Fate. She was Death, and he was alive… he isn't supposed to meet her. _Or am I?_

"Um… why… why are you here?" Shinji finally managed.

"You wished for me so much… and yet, when I come to collect you, when your time is up, you come back to life. Not in a hospital, and not with medical care. You came with me… and left. No one has ever done that before, let alone the Hell bound."

Shinji was about to ask another question when he realized she was a Westerner. _A Westerner who speaks fluent Japanese…?_

"Hell bound?"

"That means you're going to Hell when you die."

Shinji pondered the strange, western word for a moment, then remembered his lessons on world religions…

"H-h-h-Hell! Why am I going to Hell!"

"You were almost mine before, Shinji."

Shinji remembered that defining moment, almost a year ago, when his own hand slit his wrists. He looked down at them; the scars no longer visible thanks to the hospital care and scar removal. "Because of that…?"

"Attempting suicide is considered an unforgivable sin… Western religion was right, at least on that aspect. There is a Hell, and you will go to it… but cheer up, you still got the rest of your life, and it's looking peachy keen from where I stand!" She stretched her arms out as though to provide visual note of her exclamation. Shinji could only stare in shock.

I'm going to Hell… what the hell!" Shinji sputtered, "It…it's not fair! I've been a good person… I just got…"

"Doesn't matter, sorry, I don't make the rules. But don't worry, maybe there's a loophole you can figure out before you die."

"Really?" Shinji asked, hope filling his heart.

"Not really, sorry. Eons of suicidal beings can't be wrong." Death frowned for the first time in Shinji's presence, and at that moment Shinji's peril seemed such a small thing compared to her disposition.

_What am I thinking, I'm going to Hell! Western religion Hell! Dammit! _Shinji threw himself back onto his bed, rubbing his eyes softly. He then recalled his previous query, "Why are you here?"

"Well, I claimed you, and you're still alive… so I have to stick around until you pass on with me. You've got me in quite a bind, as you can imagine. Things will still die, but I won't be there when it happens, is all. Pretty simple, when you think about it." She flashed him another of her haunting smiles as he uncovered his eyes, and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Then… I have no choice."

"Well, when you die is entirely up to you. You could give up now and forget your obligations, since this window doesn't seem shatterproof. Or you could live on, fight me off as long as you can… I don't mind either way, because in the end, you **will** come with me." She folded her arms across her bosom, across the large silver ankh that hung about her neck. Staring at her beautiful eyes, Shinji looked forward to the idea of that being inevitable.

Misato walked along the rows of hospital waiting room chairs to find Shinji talking to himself while staring out the large windows. _I hope he didn't suffer any brain damage…_

"She cannot see me. Only you can see me, so don't talk to me when others are around, otherwise we'll be talking in padded cells," Death explained. Shinji did not understand at first, until he saw Misato. He immediately regained his composure and stood up from his seat. He walked over to Misato, nodding to her slightly. "Hello, Miss Katsuragi," Shinji greeted with a bow.

Misato nodded slightly. "Come, I discussed your housing with the Commander while you were recovering from…" Misato's expression became more somber, but then she cheered up and announced, "You're going to be living with me for the time being! Let's go, your doctor says you're ready to leave… your stuff is already in my house."

Shinji cringed slightly at the idea of riding in her car, but then looked back to where Death stood. For a moment, he could have sworn he saw a tall, lithe figure speaking to her of equal pale complexion. He blinked, and the image was gone, as was Death. He looked back at Misato and nodded. "Ok…" They began walking down the corridor, Misato thinking about the organization of her home, Shinji thinking about nothing aside from the face of Death… and how absolutely beautiful it was.


	3. Chapter Two: The Fine Line

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that's is already owned by GAINAX, Marvel or DC/Vertigo. All rights reserved.

Author's Notes: Well, I'm glad my new draft got such positive feedback! (With a few exceptions… mope) From what I've read, Bleach is about Death recruiting the man who sees dead people… Shinji doesn't see dead people, nor is he being recruited as a grim reaper or something, (like another fanfiction I've read that was, sadly, discontinued.) So while it is about a guy and Death, the relationship is seen throughout other sources, (including The Sandman itself.) Also, I'd like to point out Death isn't so much a sidekick as… well, you'll see soon enough.

On a side note, this storyline does not follow the conclusion of the actual Sandman comic, as I prefer Morpheus to Daniel any day… For those who don't know what I'm talking about, I'll not ruin the ending of the series for ya.

* * *

Chapter Two: The Fine Line

"Pon, pon, pon, pon, pon!" Misato and Shinji both chanted as they tied again.

"Again!" Misato declared, and the game of janken began anew.

As the chore duties were listed on the calendar, (a great percentage of it marked as Shinji's,) Shinji couldn't help but continue looking at the wretched mess of bottles, cans and garbage that filled the house. _How can someone live on so much instant food and alcohol…?_ He kept thinking to himself as Misato opened up another can, drank it in one shot, and let out her trademark holler.

"AAAH, now that hits the spot! Well Shinji-kun, it's your duty-day tonight, so I leave this place to you! I've got some phone calls to make and a bath…" She began taking off her top as she walked, at which point Shinji was quick to stutter and blush whilst turning away. Shinji sighed with relief as the bathroom door slid closed. Now all that was left was cleaning up the nightmarish locale that was to be his home.

_My luggage will have to wait… this place is totally wrecked, and the smell… what is that!_ he continued to think to himself as he gathered up the already prepared bags of empty beer cans.

* * *

East of Misato's apartment building was another, taller structure upon which two albino figures stood, watching over the battalion city. The one that sat upon the edge of the roof was Death, her top changed to a leather jacket and her haircut short and neatly. The other, a far gaunter and taller male, wore a flowing dark blue robe that contrasted with the white dots of his eyes. His somber expression did not shift as his older sister smiled.

"So he is a problem," the man finally stated.

"Nah, just an odd occurrence… but it's the second time it's happened, and if mortals start figuring out loopholes, my job becomes complicated…"

"But he saw his fate. He may figure out how to escape it."

"Don't worry, Dream, he doesn't know how to get out of Hell… I don't plan on telling him the truth about that yet. As far as he's concerned, mortal religion has it figured out… that'll be enough to comfort his curiosity. What about you? I haven't heard from you in almost two decades, little brother."

"This planet is filled with nightmares, and the slumbering worlds are restless. The universe as a whole shifts with impatience, and all of this is reflected in the dreams I create for them. Just as you had your lot during the Final Sign, I must deal with the aftermath and anticipation."

"Talkative today, eh?"

"We may not have much time to speak."

"I've been out of contact… how are the others doing?"

Dream hesitated for a moment, then replied, "Destiny says he has almost reached the end of his reading. Delirium agrees, in her own way, and Despair has not answered my calls."

"Despair was always sad about the end," Death sighed lightly, her pleasant demeanor faltering for a moment.

"This mortal, if he is so much trouble…"

"I will decide when to take him, not you, Dream. And don't you interfere…"

Dream's expression shifted slightly towards anger, but resumed its neutrality. "In his waking hours, I will not intervene. But in my realm, he has no choice but to hear my call…"

Dream faded from reality, as did Death. Throughout the conversation, Death had taken an old woman who simply perished in her favorite chair, a young man hit by a car, and a drunkard who overdosed on his favorite pastime. _Slow night…_Death thought to herself.

* * *

"Phew, that's the last of it…" Shinji wiped cold sweat from his brow as the last bag was tossed into the filled dumpster by the apartment. His slow and tired walk back to the apartment wasn't helped by the soreness of his bruised face, but what concerned him most was the disappearance of Death. _I wonder if she'll ever come back before I…_ He stopped the train of thought when he spotted Death lounging by the apartment door, leaning on the wall beside it while sitting on the filthy floor.

"Hey you," she greeted; her hands acted as a perch for her stark white face. Shinji could feel something tug at his heart, but he swallowed hard and nodded in response.

"Um, hello… are you going to be around long?" Shinji initially said, but then stuttered out "Sorry" as he realized how rude he sounded.

"Not very…" Her words hung on Shinji's mind as he contemplated it's double meaning. "What are you going to do now?"

"I'm in charge of cooking tonight… what about you? Do you have… people to… um…"

"Don't worry about that, it's all covered for. Hey, I'd like you to help me out with a little problem, if you're willing."

"Eh, sure. What's the—" Death stood now and approached him until she was inches away from his body. Shinji gulped hard as he felt every fiber in his body grow cold from the closeness of Death, to the point that a light fog appeared at his mouth at every exhale. Yet, he could not resist the urge to reach out and touch her beautiful face, to kiss that haunting smile…

"I wouldn't suggest it," Death replied to the unasked desires. Shinji nearly jumped back three feet, quickly yelling out apologies. "No one can ignore my call through force of will, and thus it had to be an outside source… what did you feel, between life and… me? That fine line between living and dying… can you remember it, define it, and relive it?"

Shinji thought for a moment at the odd request, and for a moment, with Death so close to his living frame, italmost came to him... but heshook his head. "I was… I was fighting the Angel and… I woke up in the hospital. I can't remember anything, it was…"

Death's smile faded, but was quickly chirped up to a full grin. "Ah well, most never remember it… but it had to be what saved you. Who knows, maybe it'll happen again… we'll find out soon enough."

"W… what do you mean—" Before Shinji could finish the question, Death faded from view, and all that was left was the cold breeze throughout the apartment building walkways.

* * *

"So… you remember dying?" Misato asked. Shinji and her both sat at the table, legs folded and sitting in front of the instant curry bowls.

"Not really… well, actually yes," Shinji lied. _I can't go telling people I talk to Death, who's a beautiful woman in black…_

Misato raised an eyebrow. "Well, your vital signs dipped and you weren't responding… then it leapt back to life, but you still didn't come to full consciousness until afterwards, and then you fell into what Dr. Akagi described as a 'minor' coma…" Misato grimaced slightly at the memory of being debriefed. "Aside from that, nothing happened, except me negotiating your release to me as your guardian."

"I'm grateful and all, but… why did you do that?" Shinji finally asked.

"They were going to have you live alone, and I simply couldn't have a teenager living by his lonesome with no income, now could I?"

"I'm used to it." There was a long silence between them, until Misato reached across the table and smothered his head with her open palm.

"Well you better get used to living with me, cuz I'm not about to let you go off by yourself, ya hear!"

"Y-yes ma'am."

"No resistance? Learn to say 'No' or 'I don't wanna' or something besides! Be a man!"

"Yes ma'am," Shinji replied, at which point Misato sighed with defeat. Shinji's smile was small, but it was there long enough for Misato to return it.

"So… ever had a girlfriend before, Shinji-kun?"

Shinji blushed slightly and looked down at the table, floor and anything else besides Misato's prying eyes. "Eh… not really…"

"Well why not? At your age, I gotta wonder why you wouldn't have a… unless you're, you know…"

"I'm not gay!" Shinji declared.

"Good, cuz you're living with a woman now, and I do enjoy the attention, don't you…" Misato purred, causing Shinji's face to glow with embarrassment. _She's drunk, that's all, and she's wasted beyond saving… I gotta get outta here…_

"My room needs picking up or something, I gotta pick it up… or something…" he stammered out in a rush as he leapt up and ran like the dickens. Misato smiled and sighed to herself, saying quite soberly as Shinji's door closed behind him, "You've still got it, girl…"

Invisible to the purple-haired guardian, a being of either gender and golden eyes gave a sinister smile and crept into the room of Shinji Ikari…


	4. Chapter Three: An Endless Agenda

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to GAINAX, Marvel or DC/Vertigo. All rights reserved.

Author's Notes: It was brought to my attention that I mixed some names up… the problem has been fixed. Further revising is here as well.

* * *

Chapter Three: An Endless Agenda

"Aim at the target in the center… switch…" Shinji chanted as he went through his training without expression. The plugsuit hugged his body quite snuggly and the LCL still smelled like blood, but even Ritsuko's blaring voice on the capsule's speaker was muffled by his own thoughts.

The EVA Unit 01 shifting from side to side in the tight space, the virtual gun firing at unseen targets. Ritsuko measured the readouts as she normally would while Misato sighed with frustration.

"I'm sorry Misato, but I just don't see any evidence of reviving from a coma or anything abnormal from the internal CAT scan… are you sure he wasn't simply in a deep sleep last night?"

Misato shook her head for the third time that morning. "I shook him for a good minute, and even threw cold water in his face… nothing. He just slept through it. By the time the paramedics came, he was awake. Before that, he was talking to _people_ in his room… people who weren't really there, mind you!"

"Do you want him transferred out of your home?" Ritsuko asked, sensing her friend's discomfort.

Misato considered the option for a moment before replying, "No. Maybe he's just… distraught from everything that's happening."

"His blood pressure is one-hundred fifty-one over one-hundred five, well over the norm for his height and weight… I cannot prescribe medications to lower his blood pressure, most of them would lower his ability to synchronize with the Evangelion."

Misato sighed wearily, passing her curled fingers through her tangled purple hair. "He could die of a heart attack and we're worried about his battle performance…"

"We're doing what we can to keep that from happening…" Ritsuko turned on the microphone after seeing Shinji destroy the allotted number of targets. "That will be all, Shinji, we're going to let you out now." With that, the technicians jumped into a frenzy of procedures that Misato didn't care enough about to fully understand. _I just hope Shinji doesn't… try anything with me._ Misato pondered the words she heard that night, just as Shinji himself began recalling the events of the previous evening.

* * *

His room was a stale space without her presence. It wasn't until he stood there, alone, that he became aware of the void in his heart that Death had left behind. He tried to conjure up some thought to fill it, but as always it fell short, now more than ever. He considered going back outside to Misato, but he already heard her bedroom door close. All that was left was his shower and his bed, just as it always seemed to be; and just as always, he would find no respite in the bath, no comfort beneath manufactured linens, to ease his fall into slumber…

He could feel a presence behind him. Something tugged at his heart, something profound and important; something that filled him even more than his despair. A soft hand caressed his left cheek from behind, too soft to be a man but too strong to belong to a woman. The fingers cascaded about his flesh as hands explored his body, tickling his chest and caressing his arms, making him squirm under the molestation of the unseen… but known… thing that held him.

"Such a burst of misery from my twin sister, I couldn't help but come to see why…" a silky, firm voice spoke. Shinji was paralyzed with mixed feelings of terror and rapture, and the voice continued. "Most men of your age want things with a minor passion, a lowly thing that does not deserve my attention… but you… you _want_ more than most adults who I consider mine."

"I… I'm…" Shinji tried to get out, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as Desire's hands caressed him in places no one had ever caressed him before.

"Shh, the time for words is over, child… you are mine now, now and forever, until you finally meet your lover's touch… it must be so painful, not being able to so much as touch the love of your life."

Misery filled Shinji's heart again as he became crestfallen. Desire's caress halted for only a moment, but continued as he thought more of Death herself. He slowly said between gasps, "I want… to have her… why can't I…?"

"To touch her flesh is to die, for you and for anyone else. As you can imagine, she's quite lonely… you're also out of luck as far as her returning your love goes…"

Shinji's heart sank to the point that Desire relocated his/her hands onto the pilot's shoulders. Another voice chimed in, filled with a dread that hooked onto Shinji's heart like a rusty hook, "It was decided long ago that the Endless may never love mortal beings… and she is one of the Endless, the second to be born since the beginning of the universe. You are mortal now, and will never gain her love. When you die, you will touch her once more, and you will never see her again after that for all eternity."

A rank stench filled Shinji's nostrils and Shinji saw the outline of some obese creature sitting atop his bed, most likely a woman. Desire caressed Shinji lightly along the neck while whispering in his ear, "But I know a way you can become immortal… and you could be with her…" Desire's fingers slid down Shinji's front, "…forever." His/her fingers were about to reach Shinji's nether regions when Desire was quickly jerked away from Shinji by a strong pale arm.

"That will be all, little sister," Dream commanded, a steady anger in his voice.

"Ah, Dream… how quaint," Desire uttered, a smile creeping along his/her face. The large woman vanished from Shinji's bed, as did the smell of stagnant pond water. Shinji spun around to see his assaulter. It had been a man… or woman…? His/her eyes shined with a golden hue, contrasting with the silver outfit that covered his/her tight body. His/her posture was one of arrogance, even as the taller, paler figure of Dream stood behind him/her, locking his/her neck in a choke. "Your arm is nothing more than a symbol of feeling to me, Dream. You cannot truly restrain me from doing my work."

"Making one desire is one thing, changing their fate is entirely not in your power. You will cease now, by my command, by Destiny's wish. By my command because he will enter a deep sleep, by Destiny's wish because you have overstepped your boundaries."

"I'll not leave without a fair fight, big brother," Desire said as he/she slipped from Dream's grasp. He/she faced his/her brother, eyes shining with a challenge.

Dream sighed angrily as he looked at his most hated sibling. "Then we shall battle on the only battlefield we may agree upon… the most ancient game."

"Agreed, Dream, I will begin, as I am the challenger." Desire cleared his/her throat for a moment, causing reality to shift about Shinji, Dream and him/herself. A pulsing red surrounded the mortal and two Endless as the battle over Shinji began. As they challenged each other, images flashed behind them, lucid images of concepts that filled Shinji's mind with awe.

"I am the desire for children, the desire for offspring," Desire began. The image a mother holding a babe flashed across reality.

"I am their dreams, teaching without affection," Dream retorted. The baby's eyes closed and moved rapidly under sealed eyelids.

"I am a childhood, filled with closeness and embrace." Behind Desire was a small child being held and caressed by his mother.

"I am a childhood's nightmare, filled with boogeymen and monsters." The child hid under his sheets, tucking his blanket under his shaking frame.

"I am adolescence, the budding of lust, the cradle of the mortal heart." The boy was growing taller and braver while his eyes wandered across the female body.

"I am realization, the perversion of adolescent love." The boy is seen crying in his bed, the image magnified behind Dream.

"I am the young adult, lust incarnate, bringer of children." The young boy was now grown and with a family of three children and his wife.

"I am adulthood, realism and honesty, lucid dreams and lies." The children began crying as the parents signed the divorce paper. Desire left the young man, until Desire retorted.

"I am the elder, wise in the ways of emotion, experienced to ignore the lies of a dream upon waking, with nothing left to live for except the desire to move on to the next world." Desire smirked as the image of the wise man came up, overbearing and dominant. A powerful, red aura of light surrounded Desire, pushing upon Dream who stood defiant and somber. "How do you reply, brother!"

"I am the dream, to ease him into death on the night of his passing." The wise man was then lying in bed as the breath of life escaped from his chest. A wicked blackness lashed out from Dream, devouring the red in nearly an instant and banishing Desire back to his/her realm. Shinji felt sleep overcome him, and the strange dimension vanished, dropping him onto his bed. Dream vanished into his realm, ready to intercept the youth. As he faded, he whispered, "I have done my part, sister, but I cannot interfere again…"

Once he faded, Death appeared from the shadowy corner of Shinji's room. "I know, little brother… thank you."

* * *

The memory of the previous night faded from Shinji's mind as sirens blared throughout the NERV headquarters. Before Shinji's ejection was complete, the process was halted and reversed. "Sortie EVA-01 into the lift, we have an unidentified object coming towards Tokyo-3," the voice of Fuyutsuki commanded over the loudspeakers of Ritsuko's department. The process began once more as Shinji felt the synchronization in his nervous system. _Why now…?_ As the cascading color vortex shifted about him in the capsule, Shinji somehow knew that he was going to suffer once again… in more ways than one.

* * *

The hospital room was familiar. The sharp pain in his waist was not. His eyes squeezed shut as the ache filled his nerves with messages of unbearable pain, but the feeling eventually numbed, as did his senses. The morphine dripper made sure of that. His mind was a fog, the very roof above him an indiscernible blotch of white and shadows. He barely registered the door of his hospital room sliding open, allowing unseen people in…

"This is the one you spoke of?" a thick, strong and male voice asked.

"Yep, that's him… for now. It might not be him later, he'll change, he'll be different in the nothing place, but we won't be here for that…" a jittery, ecstatic and female voice answered.

"I… see. He is incapacitated right now… at least for the most part. I only needed to know who he was… let's go."

"He's going to kill us all, brother. He'll be there for each of us, one by one, along with our biggest sister, and he'll make our sister take our brother's book. And we won't be replaced, because we won't be anything anymore. The nothing place will eat it all, all at once in one big gulp, and he will be that nothing place where even our sister won't be able to survive."

"We should let Destiny decide if that's the course of events… for now, let's leave him be."

The door slid again, and the voices left just as quickly. Shinji had slipped too deep into the drugs, and the voices were forgotten along with the pain. For that moment and that moment alone in years past and years to come, Shinji did not desire Death.


	5. Chapter Four: A Day Without Death

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to GAINAX, Marvel or DC/Vertigo. All rights reserved.

* * *

Chapter Four: A Day Without Death

The hospital bed was a paradise of pleasure when laid next to the wretched bruising Shinji sustained over the past few days. He had grown used to the rows of perfectly clean hospital windows and the smell of the sterile atmosphere that encompassed him. He remained planted into the bed, nearly paralyzed by the threat of pain from any form of movement. The doctors rarely came; perhaps once a day if that much, and for the most part the five days in the hospital were spent contemplating Death, Desire and Dream, that is, whenever he wasn't speaking with Death.

Their conversations were long and deep. He would ask questions about the universe, the stars, the galaxies and atoms, all the things that Death would know of, for everything could die. Death did not return questions until late into the conversations, when she would ask him things she didn't already know about, things she hadn't picked up by being the essence of life and death.

"What's your favorite food?" Death asked on the third day.

Shinji thought for a moment, laying in his bed as always, before replying, "Yakisoba… but how my old teacher made it. He was an excellent cook... what about…" Shinji stopped himself and then asked, "Have you ever eaten food?"

Death shook her head. "There's no need… we never go hungry."

"…I have to cook you some yakisoba when I get back home then," Shinji said with a pleasant smile.

Death looked at the boy with his happiness, and smiled back. "I think I'd like that."

The rest of their conversations consisted almost entirely of questions, back and forth, as both learned of each other's world. The images of the Endless and their purposes swirled in his conscious mind as he tried to put together the puzzle that was laid before him. Death and Dream, for whatever reason, bore an allegiance of some sort, while Desire was placed as the enemy… _But I desire death…in more ways than one._ As he laid there on the fourth day, coming to terms with his emotions, he heard the door slide open. He opened his eyes and turned his head, hoping to see the equally sterile doctor in the long white outfit. Instead, his eyes were greeted with the image of Rei Ayanami, the mysterious albino that would have taken his place, had he refused to pilot altogether… _She was the main reason I piloted…right?_

She walked in, adorned in the dark cyan dress used for school. "Hello, Ikari-kun," she greeted with her neutral tone.

"Hello, Ayanami-chan," Shinji replied calmly. Despite being strangers, Shinji knew she had been a pilot… and knew she had sustained worse than he.

Rei pulled out a small notebook from her carrying purse and read out loud. "Your release from the hospital will occur tomorrow afternoon, Friday, February 6th, 2015. Your schoolwork has already been delivered up to that point and will be due on Monday, February 9th. On Saturday, February 7th, you will have a synchronization test at NERV headquarters. On Sunday, February 8th, you are to attend a briefing on weapon functions utilized by the Evangelions." She snapped the book shut and placed it back in her carrying case.

"Did you come here just for that?" Shinji asked, his face somber.

"Yes. It was a direct order from your father."

"My father…." Shinji pondered to himself for a moment. Rei turned to leave when Shinji quickly added, "Please, stay."

Rei stopped for a moment. "For what purpose?"

"To keep me comp… so I'm not so alone."

"The doctor will check up on you in two hours."

Shinji frowned for a moment before shrugging and saying, "Fine then… goodbye, Ayanami-cha."

"Sayonara, Ikari-kun." The door slid shut behind her, leaving Shinji to his own thoughts. But no matter what he thought about, no matter how abstract or unimportant, it always came back to Death and her smile.

* * *

"Your day of mortality is coming up," Dream announced.

Death and Dream stood in a vacant park in Germany, admiring the warped weather patterns that offered sunny days in a place that should be have been coated in three layers of snow and hail. Dream chose the place, as Germany held a warlock that tried, (and failed,) to capture Dream's power. With the warlock locked away in a nightmare of insanity, Dream decided to stroll along the local park… only to meet his sister sitting on a bench, feeding the pigeons. They both sat now, Death continuing her feeding and Dream simply staring off into the spaces between the atoms of the concrete below their feet.

"It lands on February 14th. Valentine's Day. That's never happened before," Death said nonchalantly.

"It will probably be your last day as a mortal. With the Final Sign having passed and the forces at work, the end is nearer than we could have imagined."

"Only to you, brother. I've had my fill of endings, this will pass just as they all have."

Dream paused for a moment. "Morningstar was seen in Tokyo-3… by Destruction."

Death's eyebrow popped up for a moment before she returned to her normal, pleasant gaze. "Lucifer Morningstar, at the center of the future ground zero? I can't say I'm surprised… no matter. He has no real power over the events that are going to occur, it is forbidden. The Furies themselves will rip him apart if he does so."

"If the universe ends, that fate won't really matter to Morningstar."

Death changed the subject, asking, "Where did you meet Destruction?"

"The fields of Tokyo-3… he was working on a farm with a woman who is in love with him. She dreamt of him… I followed her in the Dreaming to meet Destruction."

"How is he these days? Still trying to save life?"

"As always… Delirium was with him. She's getting worse. She sees the future now, perhaps. Or she is far deeper into herself than anyone could have achieved, mortal or otherwise."

"It seems Destiny is the only one who has yet to come around to visiting Tokyo-3… but then, he rarely leaves his garden," Death chimed in.

"I read that boy's dreams. He is in love with you, I believe. I was never good at reading what our sister plants in the hearts of men, but I know that no mortal, no matter how much they believed it, ever had such emotion for you."

This took Death by surprise, her usual smile dimming to a thoughtful expression. "No mortal before has ever taken my hand and gone on to remember it. The only exception was a woman whose desire dried up upon her leaving of the mortal coil…" Death's smile returned. "I guess that means I'm a cutey in mortal terms, in more ways than one."

Dream did not smile, although his eyes showed a pleasant reaction to his sister's disposition. "Delirium says she was once married… and I was once…" Dream discontinued that sentence and continued, "Desire wants all mortals for him/herself, and even Destruction took a lover once. But beyond that, the Endless have never had relations with mortals… especially since it is now forbidden."

Death smiled a mischievous smile, at which point Dream's expression showed signs of twitching rage. "It is forbidden, sister. Do not forget what will happen to you if you pursue love with a mortal."

"The Furies can't touch me, big brother, and I may do as I please as far as they are concerned. If they were to pursue me, I could flee into my realm, and within my realm nothing survives without my permission."

"I know that, dear sister," Dream said in an irritated tone. "You must consider what they will do to whatever mortal you decide to take for yourself."

Death stopped smiling. She pondered the course of action a bit further, then sighed in defeat. "I suppose so. Always the thoughtful one, little brother… except when it comes to yourself." Death grinned as Dream frowned.

"You should just cut off contact with him altogether until his final breath."

Death appeared crestfallen for an amount of time that could not be measured, for her depression could freeze time as though it were dead. Time resumed as she tried a weak smile. "I guess… I should."

* * *

Shinji felt a pain in his heart, a sharp one that struck to his core. He looked around his hospital room. The windows displayed the nightscape of Tokyo-3, a beautiful display of lights and buildings. It was the end of the fourth day, and Death had not visited him, replaced instead by an ordered visit from Rei Ayanami. He struggled to sit up, the bruising on his waist urging him to stay down, and looked about his room harder, hoping to spot Death in the shadowy corners or near the dark windows. Sweat began to form on his forehead as worry took over. Finally he spoke aloud, "Death, are you there?" There was no answer.

Shinji began to panic. _Where did she go? She should have come today… did I bore her? It's because of me, isn't it… I made her go away. I make everyone go away, sooner or later… stupid, stupid Shinji! You should have been more interesting instead of asking so many damn questions!_ His breathing became rapid as he tried to reason with himself as to why Death took a leave of absence, to the point that he did not notice the door sliding open. A comforting hand rested on his shoulder, startling him. He looked up to meet the stars of the universe reflected in Dream's eyes. "Forget you ever met my sister, Shinji Ikari. It is far too dangerous for both you and her to continue pursuing this impromptu relationship… you must wait until your last breath is uttered, until the last part of your mind dies away."

Rage, a terrible rage, filled Shinji to his core. All his bound anger was unleashed in an instant at this depressing figure, this morbid albino that told him to forget his emotions, his love and his Death. "Damn you! Where is Death!"

Dream looked on to the lad, his face neutral. "Damn my name if you wish, but I cannot allow you to pursue my sister in this fashion. You will not understand, but it was decided that the Endless could not love mortals. It brings about terrible consequences, one of which was the birth of Humanity… things simply go smoother when one doesn't grow attached to something as fickle as a mortal lifespan."

"I'm not a lifespan, or a fickle mortal being or some other such label, I'm a person with emotions, with… with LOVE for Death! I love Death!" Shinji panted heavily as he shouted at Morpheus, Lord of Dreams.

"But Death cannot love you. Not without putting her own existence in danger."

"Death… how can Death die?" Shinji calmed down as Dream's revelation washed over him.

"The Death you love can be replaced, and would be replaced, by another Death if she were to perish. Destiny himself would bind her to that end, and if it could not be carried out, Destiny would eradicate your soul, body, mind, life and afterlife in a single breath. All he would have to do is turn the page in his book and you would be gone."

Shinji laid back down, his back pressed into the indent in the bed that his body had formed. "But how… how am I suppose to forget her… how can I…"

Dream passed his hand over Shinji's eyes, forcing them to close as the Third Children fell into a deep slumber almost instantly. Dream looked about once more to ensure that no one else was in the room before reducing his body to mist, vanishing without leaving a trace of his presence. Shinji dreamed only nightmares that night, horrible nightmares of holding Death, dead in his arms, or his own body vanishing in a sea of blackness. No matter what incarnation of his fate occurred in the dreamscape, it all meant the same thing to him.

He could not have Death.


	6. Chapter Five: The Morningstar Option

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is already owned by GAINAX, DC Comics, Vertigo, Marvel, or any other such ginormous corporate body... All rights reserved.

* * *

Chapter Five: The Morningstar Option 

The room-wide image of the 5th angel flared across the control room's main screen. The nervous air amongst the technicians was as thick as always as they were faced with the enemy of all of humanity, although Misato, Ritsuko and the commander himself remained calm as usual.

"This angel's geometric shape is… absolutely perfect," Ritsuko chimed in after looking at one technician's monitor. "The angles are flawless, and the surface is without marks or holes, except the body-wide indents across its body…"

"Pilot status?" Misato asked aloud, waiting for someone to answer.

"The Third Children has been sorted into EVA-01. EVA-01 is all green and good to go."

While Misato continued to direct the mission, Shinji sat calmly in his entry plug, his eyes flickering as he lost himself in thinking about Death. His own body seemed to fade as he lost himself in the pantheon and plots of the Endless, their roles mixing and matching with their names and their agendas. The gentle orange hue of the LCL went unnoticed while he pondered his own role in all of it…

* * *

Shinji ran away from the hospital on the fifth day's morning, knocking over the doctor who opened the door in the process. He ran wherever he could, anywhere where there weren't people, faces or life to remind him of Death and her smile. His mind was running out of time before the insanity of his loss took him; his heart was running out of room to hold all of his misery. The streets, buildings and people became a blur as he ran across the sidewalks and streets, never seeing more than four people at once, never seeing more than three cars on a road. Even then, he almost ran into a person many times, and nearly got run over twice. 

He cleared three blocks from the hospital before collapsing onto the sidewalk and vomiting into a drainer on the side of the road. It began to rain, soaking the plain white shirt and black pants he put on before fleeing. His eyes were bloodshot as he vomited again, a mixture of tears and stress and self-hatred driving them to their wretched red coloration. He sat up on his knees, bending his head back and stretching out his arms as though to beg the celestial beings to take him now, to destroy him then so pain would no longer be such a gargantuan part of his reality…

"Sorry kid. Doesn't work that way. If you're so Hell-bent on dying, do it yourself," a kind voice offered behind him. He looked over, his eyes fogged with tears, raindrops and pain. For a moment he could've sworn he saw golden wings, but it turned out instead to be a tall, handsome foreigner with blonde hair and a tuxedo that was nearly perfectly form-fitting. His large-scale umbrella kept a ring of dry ground about his feet, which were protected by ballroom shoes with a mirror-like sheen. Shinji appraised the man for a moment, blinking the excess moisture from his eyes. He thought to motion the foreigner away, until it dawned on him that this blonde European man spoke fluent Japanese, even better than some natives.

"Are you… an Endless?" Shinji asked.

The foreigner scoffed. "Not even close. Let me tell you something about the Endless. As cocky as they may be about being the driving forces behind the universe, you have to wonder why they get so spooked when something doesn't go exactly as planned. Except Delirium, of course… such a lovely child…"

Shinji stood up, his knees shaking from the running and vomiting. He wiped his mouth and spat the excess stomach acids that sat in his mouth out, trying to clear the wretched taste from his tongue. "Then who are you?" Shinji finally asked.

"You can call me Morningstar, my boy. Lucifer Morningstar."

* * *

"EVA-01, launch!" Misato ordered. 

Shinji snapped back to reality as the pressure of the launch threatened to crush his unprepared organs. _Son of a…!_ Before he knew it, the roller-coaster ride that was his EVA's launch was completed.

"Shinji, dodge!" Misato's voice rang out inside Shinji's entry plug.

_**You mustn't die yet**, _a slithering voice uttered inside Shinji's mind. Before he knew it, he was already out of the beam's way, dodging to his right and behind another building. Again he leapt away as the purple pole of light struck through the very building he had just hid behind.

_Who the—_

**_Later. Dodge._** Another beam was barely avoided as Shinji jumped away. Now focused, Shinji raised his own AT field, summoning it up as a shield to deflect the next shot. Another beam of light crackled through the air, ripping through two buildings on it's way to Shinji… only to be negated by the AT field's power. Shinji could feel the EVA's AT field weaken under the pressure of the assault, and so he returned to dodging the angel's attacks. The angel itself did not move, choosing instead to continuously shoot at its giant purple target.

* * *

The bar was cold. Shinji knew he shouldn't be in a place that served primarily alcohol and other such devices, but the bouncer needed only a nod from Morningstar to let the boy in. The bar and the small lobby that sat in front of the tiny stage was packed with people, a low murmur of chatter filling the room while a saxophone musician played _Nocturne_ throughout the night. Shinji's clothes remained soaking wet and clung to his body while Morningstar appeared as though he just came from an open ballroom on a summer day, both in appearance and in mood. 

"Two seats, bartender," Morningstar commanded, his voice as firm and unrelenting as his father's, yet almost seductive in its smoothness. The bartender, a giant of a man who seemed more muscle than fat, picked up two of the smallest men on the bar by their neck cuffs and proceeded to launch them out into the rain. Their protests were not heard, not by the lobby loungers and not by the fellow bar-bound customers, and only Shinji seemed to give a damn about their fate. Morningstar immediately sat at one of the emptied stools, waving Shinji over to take the other. As Shinji sat, Morningstar immediately opened up the conversation. "I've been following your case for some time now, Shinji. You're a special individual, as you can imagine, both to Humanity and to… the rest of us."

Shinji did not reply, but instead looked around the bar to see if anyone had turned to look at the pilot of EVA-01. No one seemed to care. Morningstar continued, "To Humanity, you are the pilot of the Evangelion, a savior to your people, probably on the way to martyrdom, but a savior nonetheless. To the rest of us, however, you're Death's love interest, the first to ever be recorded or even heard of, or even rumored of… I wouldn't have believed it myself if it weren't for the fact that I was stopping by Tokyo-3 for other business. But now you've reached a dilemma, approaching the climax of your tale of love… you cannot have Death, not the way you want, in any case."

"How do you—" Shinji began, but was immediately cut off by Lucifer.

"Don't you worry how I know the details, kid, just trust that I know more than most. I know the emotions that drive you… I'm a big fan of them, actually. Take my advice, and you'll have Death in any way you want, all for yourself…"

Shinji looked at this foreigner named Lucifer Morningstar, wondering why he was named after Western religion's image of evil… until he remembered that Western religion was correct. "You… You're!"

"Don't even think of calling me the devil, Satan or some other such mortal nonsense. I am Lucifer Morningstar, retired King Of Hell… Dream now holds the key to that miserable place."

"In western movies, you made deals to collect souls, evil deals that ended horribly…"

"Let me tell you something. I don't need souls, alright? I have an abundance of soul, a multitude of souls bound in Hell that will never even see Heaven, souls so evil and corrupt that merely looking at their true forms would drive you into madness. Do you really think I want to collect more of these worthless souls? Honestly, nothing drives me to do so."

Shinji weighed Lucifer's words. "Then… how am I going to have Death… for myself?"

Lucifer gave a smile that both comforted and disturbed Shinji. "Third Impact."

* * *

**_You're doing terribly. Why not try attacking?_** _I'd like to see you—_The response in Shinji's mind was cut short as the seventh beam seared the armor off his left arm, leaving the wrist bare and burnt. He squinted in agony as his own wrist's nervous system flared with alarms. Almost as abruptly, a wave of calm came about him. Another beam lashed out, promising to strike the paralyzed Evangelion… only to be fully negated by another AT field. 

"Third AT field forming twenty meters from EVA-01, it just deflected the angel's attack!"

"A third!" Ritsuko blurted out. _Is that girl…impossible. She's at her home… and we would've picked her up on the—_

"Where is it coming from?" Misato requested.

"Twenty mete—"

"I said WHAT is it coming from!"

**_If it's the only way to keep you alive, mortal, I'll do this myself._** The new AT field transformed and lashed out at the Angel as a thin line of pure white light. The string of glowing power slashed into the angel's body and whipped about in a chaotic pattern. As the string dissipated, the angel's body felt every chaotic lash from the single string; it's body fell in hundreds of pieces. Shinji looked on, stunned.

Who are you…? Shinji thought again, concentrating on making the words clear in his mind. 

**_I'm here to make sure you get the girl of your dreams, kid… one way or another._**

_Are you my guardian angel…?_

**_Nope, and I'd fire the one you've got. They're really just divine lawyers, peddling their peace and harmony without thinking of the consequence._**

_Then… Morningstar?_

**_Ding-ding-ding! But we'll talk later. Misato is calling you. You should answer._**

Sure enough, Misato's voice flared inside the entry plug. "Shinji-kun! Are you okay?"

Shinji blinked for a moment. Am I turning into a schizophrenic or something… better just keep it to myself, no one will believe me. "I'm… I'm ok, Misato..." _I can't say I believe myself.

* * *

_

The drive home was a quiet one filled with contemplation. Shinji went over Morningstar's words over and over again in his head, trying to decipher some hidden meaning in all of it. After surrendering to his own bafflement, his mind turned elsewhere, towards the object of his desire, just as Desire had said so. No matter where he looked, he could not find her, despite her always being there, despite her constantly watching. Now, despite Misato talking at him for some time, Shinji felt alone. Deprived of Death's presence and… eventually… touch. His mind was made up. He would tell her how he felt the next time they met… if they ever met. It was February 14th, Valentine's Day, and he was without the focus of his love...

Shinji laid in his bed, cradling his left arm. The light hairs on it had been seared off where the angel had hit the Evangelion, and the entire arm hurt like hell. His sheets were fresh out of the washer, supposedly a kind of victory celebration of Misato's, although he called her on the fact that it was her laundry day anyways. Despite the mysterious voice, despite nearly dying, despite his undesired obligation to pilot EVA-01… he simply didn't care. Nothing absorbed his attention, devotion and emotion more than…

"Hello again," chimed in Death. She had stood in the shadowy corner of his room all that time he stood awake, and now she stood proudly, her hair a tangled mess, her clothes wrinkled and her eyes showing a tired feel that Shinji never saw in her before. It was as though she had lost the glow that all Endless seemed to possess… but it did not matter to him in the end. Shinji jumped up from his bed as every ounce of his body was filled with happiness only love could bring. "You came back…! I thought… I thought you left for good…"

"I get around just as often as I come around… I heard you almost died today. I didn't feel the need to go get you, so I suppose it was never a risk."

Shinji stuttered for a moment before getting out, "Death… I… I need to tell you something, and it's pretty important to me…"

"Yes, what is it?" Death abruptly asked, her head tilted forward. Did her smile just get bigger…? Shinji pondered.

"Well… well we've been together for awhile now… well, not that long, but it's long to me… not to say I'm desperate or anything or too clingy, it's just that this is the first time... I mean, sure, I've had attractions before, but… well, I should—" As Shinji continued to babble, a quick and audible clearing of Death's throat cut him off.

"You can just go ahead and say it, I won't mind."

Death's words sank into Shinji's heart, opening it ever so slightly. Somehow, her calm eased his worries and removed the burdens from his soul, and for that moment, no man could face Death as easily as he did, and no man felt as strongly for anyone as he did for her. "I love you."

A long pause came afterwards, and Death's appearance, posture, or even facial expression did not change from its usual pleasant disposition. Did I say something wrong…? Did she hear me?

"You cannot touch me, not without dying. Doesn't that repel you?" Death's eyes glittered with interest.

Shinji pondered it for a moment, and then shook his head. "Being with you, having you there with me… it fills me up, it's all I can live for now… I live for Death." Shinji chuckled at the irony, but then recovered with a somber, honest expression. "I live for you."

Death stood there for a moment, folding her arms around her chest. "Well then, it's your lucky day… tonight, and only tonight, you can have me." Death stalked over to Shinji in the small room, her walk as seductive as a woman in black jeans and sneakers could achieve. Her hands raised themselves to Shinji's face, and slowly approached to touch him.

First, to Shinji's shame, was fear. The fear of Death, despite his love, could not be stopped completely. As her fingers curled to cup his cheeks, he accepted what was going to happen. As her fingers approached him, centimeter by centimeter, his desire for her grew tenfold. Her fingers touched the light cheekbones of his face. Her palms rested near his mouth on either side. Her touch was the temperature of the cold flesh of the dead and the warmth of human blood freshly spilt. It was skin that was smoother than any Shinji had ever felt…

And it did not kill him. Before Shinji could ask further questions, Death moved her face closer to his, an inch between their mouths. "Tonight, I will have you, if you'll let me," Death said in a seductive tone.

Despite all his bravery that night, he was near the point of fainting from nervousness. He was both awe-struck and lust-filled, and he could not decide on the proper course of action. What should I do, should I tell her I'm sorry, should I run away, maybe I should just kiss—

He moved in to her space. Their lips met, first coexisting in harmony, then nearly devouring each other in heated passion. His was a mortal love, one from the physical realm, while hers was an immortal love, a love that was never meant to be, a love that knew no bounds. Yet both met at the line between them, the thin space between lust and nothingness that could only be identified as true love.

Their tongues flicked and wrestled with each other, coiling about like two serpents in mating season. Shinji grabbed a hold of her waist and pulled her closer, pressing his own body against hers, absorbing the sensations that filled his mind. But surprising to Shinji, Death seemed… Nervous? He pulled his mouth away from his for a moment to look upon the being of his affection. Her eyes seemed to dart down, her smile now gone. "I've… I've never done this before, Shinji…" she began.

"…Neither have I…" Shinji added. "But… it feels right… doesn't it?"

Death looked at Shinji in the eyes for a full five seconds before smiling and answering, "Yes… my love."

Shinji's heart soared as he pulled her closer to resume their kissing. The night escaladed while Misato was passed out drunk in her room, Shinji and Death exploring each other's bodies, Death all too familiar with the flesh but not the lust, Shinji all too familiar with the lust but not the flesh. They shared their experiences in a language that could only be communicated by emotion, a tongue that was not spoken aloud, but directed by the hearts. As the night went on, Shinji found his plateau in Death.

He made love to Death, with Death, for Death. They mated like animals, loved like gods, desired like dreams. Their voices, moans and rapture were barely stifled by the thin mortal realm about them, eventually transcending it, making love across the stars and in the realms of Death's siblings. They traveled each other's bodies as they traveled the universe, transcending sex beyond anything any mortal had ever felt.

In the end, as the pale moonlight sank into Shinji's room, the image of his bed was illuminated. Their legs tangled and their bodies covered by sheets and layers of sweat, a naked Shinji laid peacefully with a naked Death. For that night, he could do nothing less than smile through his dreams…

But Death's expression was a saddened one, and as she left his bed, she had no choice but to return to her duties… for that night, she was alive. And now, again, she felt no better than dead.


	7. Chapter Six: Delirious Clarity

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to GAINAX, DC/Vertigo, or Marvel. All rights oh-so-pleasantly reserved.

* * *

Chapter Six: Delirious Clarity

The Kindly Ones were not beautiful women. At least not at first when Death saw them come to her atop the apartment building where her loving mortal slept for the remainder of the night. Death now stood again as an Endless, no longer bound by mortality, no longer capable of physical love. Almost instantly the forms of the three women changed and morphed, but no matter how many times the angles and colors and general shapes of the Furies changed, Death's mind never changed with them.

"Hello Furies," Death began, her face a cold effigy of her cheery self.

"Death… you were the prodigal daughter of the universe," the first Fury began, a redhead draped in a white robe at the time, "the only one to never falter from her path, after Destiny… why now? Why so close to the end?"

The second Fury spoke, her form taking the shape of a hideously wrinkled old maid covered in a black drab outfit. "Do you think it's acceptable to betray universal law just because it's end-game?"

"You would have to be a fool to do as such," the third, a youthful girl of seven with blond hair and a simple yellow sundress, finished.

Death looked at them all in turn, these beings of vengeance and apathy, and gave a shrug before replying, "Do my reasons really matter? Should I bother caring how you feel? First you force my brother into his own death, and now you pester me. You cannot destroy me, I need only return to my realm to avoid your grasp."

"We could destroy your mortal," the second piped in.

Death paused for a moment, anger lighting a red flame in her eyes. She could not kill the Furies, for they would simple reincarnate or be replaced… she wasn't sure; she had never taken a Kindly One to her realm. Incarnations of vengeance, they also served now as the police to monitor the Endless, for only they could slay an Endless at any given time… except Death, of course.

"No!" Death spat out.

"Then you shall do as we command, child," the first Fury chimed in.

Death smiled. "Child? I'm older than you, little girl. So I suppose I'm to stay away from Shinji?"

All three Kindly Ones nodded in unison. Death felt something tug at her being, something strange and unfelt before…

_Heartbreak?_

"If you make contact with Shinji Ikari in any way whatsoever, he will find himself in a place worse than Death, Hell or any other such thing this universe can conjure… he will be with us," the third stated, her form now shifting to adulthood. "You have been warned, Death."

The Kindly Ones vanished as quickly as they appeared, leaving Death, perhaps the most powerful of the Endless, to sit on the building's edge. She looked down to see Shinji's window and did something she did not do for anyone, not even her brother as she took him to her realm.

It began with an audible sob, then the burning sensation under the eyes. Her heart felt bottomless pain just before she began to cry.

* * *

The sunlight was an uplifting sight for Shinji's opening eyes. It blinded him, at first, but he welcomed it as it warmed his naked chest, reminding him of the events of last night. He stretched in place, (towards his side so his partner would not be stirred,) and slowly sat up with his legs crossed, his back to the rest of the room and to the side of the bed in which his lover laid. He had not seen her yet, but he knew she would be there. It was too strong, their connection, to be severed. He spread the hunter-green window curtains and sat proudly on the ruffled white sheets of his bed.

_How could the day become better…_ Shinji thought to himself. He imagined kissing the love of his life once more, to wake her on this fine morning, and turned, with a smile, to make his daydream into a reality once more.

She was not there. It didn't register, at first, and Shinji sat there, his back bended in an awkward way as he twisted around to see the vacant side of his bed. She was not there. He slowly flipped the rest of his body with his upper body, aligning it to view forward as his smile did not leave his face, although the joy, happiness and satisfaction in his eyes perished. She was not there. The smile slowly dimmed to the miserable frown with which Shinji had grown accustomed.

_She's not here._ Misato stirred in her futon, her hangover pounding her head into dust, (as far as she could tell,) but ignored the opening and closing of doors in the house.

Shinji's mad dash began to slow down only as he reached the second block, his legs begging him to stop ever since he made it down the stairs. He had quickly put on pants and a shirt to cover himself before he left, his eagerness to run from his anguish pushing him to nearly breaking his clothes. Finally his legs gave away, nearly dropping him onto the pavement of the empty sidewalk of the early morning. He felt no spark in him to move anymore, every last drop of hope seemed spilled onto the path behind him like seeping crimson from his heart.

He clutched at his chest, partly because of its rapid beating, mostly because of the agony inside his soul. He looked up at the metal structures, flat and beautiful, and wanted to die, then and there, just so he could ask why.

"Hello," a firm voice greeted from in front of him.

Shinji pulled his head to an upright position, finally noticing the giant of a man in front of him. Obviously a foreigner, his orange hair and large chin placed him amongst the giants of western folklore, as far as Shinji cared. It shouldn't have mattered to him, his love was severed from him without reason, without explanation, and yet here was a stranger, a foreigner, who drew his attention…

_Is he…_ "Leave me alone… go away!" Shinji yelled at this man who spoke fluent Japanese, his anger directed towards the stranger as though he were the cause for his pain. Shinji stood a bit too fast to run away, grew dizzy, and eventually fell to the floor. The knock against the concrete, combined with his fatigue, knocked Shinji out of consciousness.

* * *

It was warm, wherever he was. He realized he was in a sleeping bag, and stood upright, throwing away it's cover. He found his head bumping into the top of a small tent, and slowly crouch-walked out of it, putting his face down to pierce the folds that made it's entrance. The campfire caught his eye first, right before the woman sitting across from his tent. She looked at him from across the fire, her rainbow-colored hair matching well with her eyes, (one a solid blue, the other a solid green,) and stood rather unsurely.

"Good… um…. Waking," the girl began. "Are you going to kill me?"

Shinji blinked at the woman, but ignored her. Staring into the fire, his life and all of what happened caught up with him. It was not a dream, not a nightmare, it was real, despite all he hoped, it was real. _I'd rather it not happen at all then happen and go away…_

"What's the fun in that?" the girl asked, dancing awkwardly around the fire. Shinji looked up, entranced by the dancing woman of colors. He noticed now her black miniskirt and the fishnet stockings that covered her limbs. Her rainbow-colored shirt seemed like a normal tai-dye until he noticed that her dancing wasn't what made the colors swirl like a whirlpool of shades.

"You're… Endless?" Shinji asked, his pain stopped momentarily by the hope that this creature knew of his love's decision.

"Yep, I'm… something. Not too sure, I'm supposed to be Delirium, but I was once Delight, and soon I'll be nothing, if you wipe me away, like icky-icky stains on an ugly white dress…" She stood still for a moment, glaring at Shinji, before resuming her chaotic dance about the fire, occasionally leaping through it, unscathed.

It wasn't until now that it dawned on him that she spoke fluent Japanese, much like the giant man, and was also a foreigner. "The large man… he's your friend?"

"My brother, he's a nice guy, really, he brought you here. I thought we should kill you just to be safe, but he said it would make no difference. He's right, I was just hoping you'd die."

Shinji blinked at the frankness of his companion, but tossed his concerns to the wind and asked, "Do you know why Death left me?"

"She can never see you again, never never never, ever again. She can see you if you die, but you're not going to die, not that way anyways, and not while she's Death. You'll die after we die, after Death goes away and my brother's book turns to ash in her hands, just like his robe, just like his flesh… before him, she'll meet me in my realm, and my realm will make sense for a moment, and then—"

The rest of her words faded as she rambled. Shinji could only stare into the fire, crestfallen beyond repair, and let the tears well openly from his eyes. He broke into a miserable sob before crumbling into a fetal position, crying out his agony and pain and anguish and hatred for life itself.

Delirium frowned. "Aww, you're hurt. I'm sorry. You know what makes me feel better after being hurt? Going into myself, you forget pain there, because pain is just an idea there, and you don't have to have ideas there, everything is an idea! Even in the pig-pond, which I made up." Shinji continued to cry, barely listening to Delirium. She came over, on the tips of her toes, and kneeled next to him. "Do you want to stop hurting?"

Shinji looked up at her through tear-filled eyes and, between sobs, uttered, "….Yes."

"Here, take my hand," Delirium offered, her hand extended to his body. Deja vu gave him another reason to cry before he lifted his own hand and clutched hers, throwing them both into the realm of Delirium.

* * *

"So where's the famous Third Child?" Asuka asked, refusing to refer to him through the plural sense. Despite Asuka and Rei having to defeat the angel together, (both in EVA-02,) and barely escaping with their lives, Asuka was still interested in seeing the boy who reached high synchronization on his first run.

"He… ran away, I guess," Misato murmured.

Rei blinked while Asuka sighed. "Couldn't handle the pressures of being an Evangelion pilot, could he? How pathetic… sounds like a real loser if he can't be man enough to stick around for his responsibilities."

The day was nearly at an end, the sun setting along the coastline. The ride to Misato's house was a quiet one for Misato and Rei, although Asuka seemed determine to live it up with questions and conversations. Despite not having a lot of time to form a strong bond, Misato felt the severing of her connection with the young teenager. _Why would he just get up and leave like that…? He seemed alright, aside from… well, morbidly depressed…_ Misato kicked herself mentally. _I should've known it wasn't normal, despite what Ritsuko said… stupid scientists… wretched science…

* * *

_

Destruction was worried. Delirium was nowhere to be found, nor was the boy who loved Death. _How could I have left those two alone… I should've known he'd regain consciousness quicker than tomorrow morning…_

Destruction already knew what had occurred, he could feel it in the absence of Delirium, in the peaceful nature of the world. Delirium was the cause of the unrest in the world, the reason Angels came to be. She was the key to the end of the universe, and despite knowing this and it's importance, Destruction made the mistake of trusting her. _Guess I should have been as paranoid as Dream…_

Destruction frowned as he thought of his newly deceased brother before a swirling cornucopia of light erupted above the fireplace, putting it out with it's powerful winds. Two bodies leapt out of this rip in the fabric of reality before it shut off, the campfire lighting up once more by unseen forces. Destruction looked upon his sister, her grin never leaving her face. He then looked down at the kneeling form of Shinji Ikari.

"Shinji…" Destruction began.

"That's quite alright, Olethros," Shinji answered, making Destruction step back slightly. Shinji stood, his head still bowed. His body shifted in position and posture, seemingly sturdier and more self-assured. "I… can see now. I know what I must do." Shinji looked up; his left eye was now a bright shade of green, his right a sky blue. "I have seen the future… it is me, and I must claim it!"


	8. Chapter Seven: Diabolus Ex Machina

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to GAINAX, DC or Vertigo. All rights reserved.

* * *

Chapter Seven: Diabolus Ex Machina

"Pulses reversed!" a technician on a lower deck declared.

"Unit One is refusing the neural connection!" Maya reported.

The white-lit eyes of EVA-01 shut down by it's own will, and all was silent. Gendo Ikari looked upon the screen with dismay. _Had this been an angel attack, we would only have a single defender… I must rush the development of the dummy plug… but would that even work…?_ As Gendo pondered the dilemma set upon him by his runaway son, Fuyutski frowned along with the technicians below before announcing, "Eject the plug and extract the First Children. Shut down all functions within EVA-01."

"It's no use. Now that she has found her son, she will reject any other…" Gendo looked onto the EVA-01, searching for his wife in its eyes, but found nothing but the cold steel of the Evangelion's mask. "We have to get him back."

"The agents the Intelligence Division sent out to the fields has yet to report back… that was Shinji's last tracked position."

"He is good at running away… not at much else," Gendo said coldly. Fuyutski only stared forward, trying hard to not agree with the monster in charge.

* * *

Green was everywhere. She got used to it, the long green fields, and how longy and greeny they were, but sometimes she'd make one pink or orange or tangerine or the color of big fat pigs when they don't get a good tan…

"Sister, please, focus… what did you show Shinji?" Destruction asked again. He wasn't Destruction now, but she would call him that in her own mind, even if his name is different, he's still the same. "Delirium, this is important… focus."

Destruction grew weary of his sister's demeanor. Apparently joyful and in some form of twisted bliss, Destruction should have been happy. But she drove the young boy mad, the boy of her prophecy, and now he couldn't help but wonder if she was ever really afraid of dying. Men in black suits had bothered their camp earlier, only to find it empty, (they simply made themselves invisible to their mortal eyes,) and couldn't help but wonder what they would've done if the boy remained here. _But now he's off and away, and doing Destiny-knows what._ The soft crush of dying plants below feet grabbed his attention to the west.

The tall grass in her died away as a very pissed off Death stalked into their campsite, her eyes raging with an unholy red light. Her dress matched her mood, an exaggerated ballroom dress with sharp edges and red linings amongst the black. "Morningstar is walking with Shinji, talking about the Final Sign and the End."

"Delirium drove the boy mad… I'm not surprised he'd speak casually with the devil," Destruction answered.

As Delirium continued to dance, Death asked, "Then why did you let him go? Why on Earth would you let an insane boy just wander about? Is that the compassion you preach, Destruction? Is this an example of your life-sustaining!" Death screamed the last part, a sob choking her.

Destruction looked at his sister, pity in his eyes. "Death… I cannot force a mortal to do what he does not wish to do, it is against my code… even if he is far deeper into Delirium than most disturbed mortals has ever gone."

"This could be the End. With Morningstar aiding him, we probably won't make it out of here existing."

"That's a splendid idea, I think!" exclaimed a voice that tugged at their hearts for a brief moment. As they regained their normal composure, Desire came through the tall grass from the east, his/her smile seemingly unbreakable. His/her outfit was a beautiful suit of white and pink shades and an undershirt with black roses decorating it all over. "Wouldn't it be dandy to just end it all?"

"So you have a hand in this, Desire?" Destruction queried his brother-sister.

"Desire's been at this since day one," Death explained.

"Not exactly, but I did fall to temptation when I realized who your little love-toy really was… I must say, you must've been given quite a shock, not being able to ever have him again until you must lose him forever… wouldn't you just prefer to go away? For good? It would mean the end of—"

"Desire's working with Morningstar, Desire's working with Morningstar!" Delirium chanted in a taunting child-like voice as she danced in an unseen ballet.

"So you've enlisted Lucifer to aid you in this," Death accused.

"The crazy one's right, I'm afraid," Desire confessed, bowing his/her head.

Death and Destruction looked upon their wayward brother-sister, searching his/her eyes for an explanation. Finally Death, her tears held back, simply asked, "Why?"

"You don't know what it's like, Death," Desire began, his/her voice becoming somber behind the never-ending grin. "Always wanting, always desiring, always dreaming of satisfaction, yet the very essence of your being would never allow it. Ever. I've never known satiation; I've never known satisfaction… pleasure cannot fill that void. Nor can love. You've known satisfaction all your life, your duty was always fulfilled, and now that you cannot have the one thing you've ever loved in this wretched universe, now you know what it's like to be the twin-sibling of Despair. It is a constant cycle, Death, more constant than yours." Desire let his/her words hang for a moment, then shrugged. "As for Morningstar, well, he thought helping in ending the universe would be a great way to end his show, and he's a tad tired of heaven, hell and everything in between as well."

Death weighed her brother-sister's words before replying, "How selfish of you… but then, you were never the selfless one, were you?"

"Not in the least, my dear, Desire never is."

Destruction butted in, "So… what do we do now? Stop Shinji and Lucifer from ending the universe?"

"No," Death replied before Desire could put his/her input. "It has to happen sometime… and we cannot interfere more than we already have. He was not supposed to know how it ends, he was not supposed to know how to end it, at least not now, I know that much… Destiny had a good eighteen pages left when I spoke to him… I knew something happened when seventeen of them vanished from the book."

Destruction looked upon his sister with shock. "Then it ends? Now?"

"Yes… and we can do nothing but wait for his decision." Death sat down, her rage dying away and the edges of her dress smoothing out, morphing and turning until her old black jeans and matching tank top.

"Destiny's?" Destruction asked.

Delirium answered, "Not at all… Shinji's."

* * *

He couldn't believe how obvious it all was, now that he had the Vision. Everything made perfect sense, the angels were nothing more than manifestations of Delirium. She was the driving force behind humanity, the mother of humanity, the Endless one who guided Sol's hand in producing the populace of planet Earth. Sol! The suns had personalities and names, names not known to many of Delirium's children. It all made sense! Even as Lucifer Morningstar explained to him the plan, he needed no explanation. He knew what had to be done, and would let Morningstar do it for him.

"…after that, the technicians will help you activate the purple one before the red one attacks…"

Lucifer's prattling to Shinji made him annoyed. What does this demon king know of the future? Nothing, he makes plans, Shinji makes preparations for what he knows will come. He needs Morningstar for this, because no one else could… would… help him. _Wasn't there a woman named—_The thought slid across his mind like a feather upon a bubble of crude oil. Nothing of his past life mattered, only his fate mattered now.

They reached the doorway to NERV headquarters. The metal bars of the closed shutter doors remained closed as Shinji approached. He didn't have his keycard. He looked to Morningstar who simply nodded. Morningstar took only a second to focus his AT field into a piercing spear of light, bursting through the armored doors with ease.

"A break-in at surface-level, sector H!" an operator exclaimed.

"Cameras have been disabled? Switching to auxiliary cam—all cameras have been disabled!" another technician announced.

"Who would be stupid enough to assault us from the front door?" Fuyutski asked Gendo.

"Only an Angel…" Gendo stood. "Scan for blue blood type in Sector H!"

"Focusing scan… no signs sir!" Maya answered.

"Then scan all—"

"No need for that, father," Shinji's voice announced from behind.

Gendo turned to see his son and a blonde foreigner with huge golden wings behind him. The foreigner flicked his finger at Gendo, and a sharp, agonizing pain struck him at the wrist. _My hand… Adam!_ Gendo looked down to see his dismembered right hand fall to the floor, spewing blood all across the metallic floor. His own wrist was apparently sealed from the heat of the AT field, but it didn't stop him from staggering back in pain. Shinji scooped up the gloved hand and removed the white covering to see the embedded Adam stuck in its palm. It's red eye looked up at Shinji's blue and green ones, and for once in a long time, Shinji smiled.

* * *

"He stole EVA-01! How can you steal a building-sized mecha inside headquarters!" Asuka exclaimed.

She and Rei both slipped into the entry plugs prepared for them. The slot between them had been emptied out, EVA-01 nowhere to be seen. While the technicians worked to destroy the power line connecting to EVA-01 from a level in Terminal Dogma, Misato replied, "He had an angel with him… a real one, I think."

"What!" Asuka blurted out.

"Nevermind… your target is EVA-01. If you can avoid… killing… Shinji…" Misato paused for a moment to regain her composure. "…Then please do. If you see a winged human with him, kill it at all costs; for now we're classifying it as the seventh angel."

"All entry plugs have been sortied into the EVAs," Maya announced. "All synchronization synapses have connected, EVA-00 is ready, EVA-02 is ready."

"Disconnecting restraints…" another technician announced. In a few moments, both EVAs were leaping down the main tunnel down to Terminal Dogma.

_So close to the finish line…_ Shinji thought to himself as his mind swirled with visions of the apocalypse. Lucifer Morningstar fell slowly with him, clearing the barriers with his AT field as they descended. "Only four more levels, Shinji, and we'll reach—"

"I know, Morningstar, do not lecture me on the future I've seen," Shinji spat back over the loudspeaker installed in EVA-01's armor.

Morningstar was about to answer back to the insolent boy until he noticed the blue and red EVAs coming down around their ears. Morningstar quickly dodged to the side as both landed on either side of Shinji. He had no time to react as Asuka restrained him towards her side, revealing his back to Rei. EVA-00 was quick to equip its vibroblade and slash out the power line to EVA-01.

"There!" Rei announced as she spotted Morningstar hovering to the back. She extended her AT field to attack the devil, only to have his easily neutralize hers. The armored barrier below their feet groaned under their weight, but stayed steady. Asuka's own vibroblade whipped from her shoulder, forcing her to lose control of the battle with Shinji to grab ahold of her weapon. Just as she began pulling it out of it's sheathed, Shinji's free arm held her wrist in place, refusing to let the knife come free.

Rei charged at Morningstar, smashing into the wall behind him as he dodged with amazing speed. Morningstar flicked his wrist and destroyed the cap that covered Rei's entry plug, right before pulling it from its socket with his AT field. EVA-00 powered down, leaving EVA-02 to fend for herself. As Shinji and Asuka struggled, EVA vs. EVA, Morningstar took this opportunity to destroy the floor beneath their feet, wiping it clear with the same blade-like AT field he used on the front door. The floor gave way, dropping them into another barrier. The combined weight of two EVAs landing simultaneously on it's surface was enough to rip it from it's place, carrying them down to the last barrier, dealing it the same fate.

Both EVAs and the two barriers they took with them smashed into the pool below. They had reached Terminal Dogma. In the confusion, Asuka yanked her vibroblade out of it's sheathe and stabbed EVA-01 in the neck. Shinji felt the agony in his neck, but ignore it as his own blade whipped out, stabbing EVA-02 in the gut. As both children reeled in pain, Morningstar grabbed ahold of EVA-02 with his own AT field. "Ta-ta, lass," he said in English. Asuka could only blink at her view-screen as Morningstar hurled her away and into one of the white pillars of Terminal Dogma.

EVA-01, clutching its neck, wobbled towards the opposing wall. With a push of it's own AT field, the wall fell away, revealing Shinji's goal: Lilith. Shinji looked down at the severed hand and smiled before lowering his own personal AT field, letting his flesh become soft and nearly insubstantial. He quickly absorbed Adam into himself before his body fell apart and reestablished the shield of his ego. "So, this is the end, aye… I was hoping for better scenery, but it'll do I suppose," Morningstar said to himself, looking at the pool of angelic blood. "Angels… I mean really… giant mutant looking freaks from the realm of insanity, and they call them angels…"

The hairs on the back of Morningstar's neck rose on end. He dashed forward, feeling the presence of the Kindly Ones upon him. EVA-01 froze and began to jitter. It bellowed out a howl of rage as its body was ripped apart. Shinji quickly cut off his synchronization, feeling the pain of the EVA, only to find out with dismay that his own entry plug was coming apart as well. Blood sprayed from the many rips in the EVA's body before it finally burst into a pile of metal plates and gore, leaving the entry plug that shattered into a thousand white pieces. The three Furies rushed into existence, dashing towards Shinji as he began to fall from mid-air.

For a moment, Shinji's eyes returned to there deep blue. He saw the Furies, their hatred and bitterness, their despising and wretched spite, their vengeance incarnate, and fear clutched at him. Their forms rushed towards him, ready to sweep him from existence, ready to eradicate his physical body, his mind, his very soul…

Morningstar scooped Shinji up from the air, wings ablaze in hellfire, and sped towards Lilith as speeds the Furies could barely keep up with. The Furies sped up as well, giving chase to the devil and his cohort, leaving a trail of physically incarnated misery behind them. As they began to touch Morningstar's foot, the Devil used all of his strength, both spiritual and physical, to launch Shinji ahead. The Furies clutched Morningstar completely now, enveloping him in annihilation, only to look in horror as their target flew towards Lilith.

"It ends now!" Lucifer screamed.

Shinji smiled for a moment. "It ends now…" Time seemed to slow down as the Furies left Lucifer, dashing towards Shinji as he rocketed toward Lilith. Tendrils came out of their ghostly forms, shooting out to Shinji, and grabbing ahold of him just as he was about to shoot into Lilith. He felt a tug, and his heart stopped. Pain enveloped his body as blood stopped flowing. Death was a brush away, and he remembered. Death. Love. Pain. He screamed in agony, screamed in the heartbreak renued, and Lilith felt his presence.

The tendrils of the Furies were loosened by the pull of Lilith. Stopped mid-air before Lilith, now Shinji was sucked into the white mass of Lilith. "NO!" all three Furies shrieked simultaneously.

* * *

Destruction looked up at the sky as the clouds evaporated. "So it ends…" he said, his face filled with sorrow.

"So it ends…" Desire agreed, his/her own face without it's pleasant grin.

Delirium stopped dancing, her face neutral and still. The scene was a somber one of Endless in a gathering. But Death, on the other hand, still gave her sad smile. "…So it begins."


	9. Chapter Eight: The End

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to GAINAX, DC or Vertigo. All rights reserved.

* * *

Chapter Eight: The End

Lilith fell from the cross, and all was not well with the world. The Furies looked upon the abomination before them, the oblivion of their universe incarnate, as it's mask fell into the pool, it's liquidated face solidifying into that of Shinji Ikari. Try as they might, they could not kill this, for it was their deaths that waited inside. Lilith-Shinji stood in the pool, defiant in its stance, it's body still without gender, but now leaner and more intimidating than ever before. The eyes were a cool, ocean blue, cold and dead eyes that stared at the Furies.

_Die._

The ghostly forms that made up the Furies began to shred into bits, slowly, as though so Lilith-Shinji could enjoy their writhing and screaming. The Kindly Ones were now non-existent. Lilith-Shinji looked on to the scene before him, the gored and ripped up remains of EVA-01, the stunned and still EVA-02, the dead EVA-00, and the entirety of Terminal Dogma. Above his head Lilith-Shinji could feel the lives of billions, the human populace, creeping across the planet's surface like a sickly layer of filth, filling every crevice with their wretched existence. Beyond Earth, he could feel the light of the sun, Sol, the fool who let Delirium guide him into the creation of humanity as it is today. Beyond Sol, beyond the solar system, Shinji could hear the screams of sheer terror of the stars, for the stars knew this day would come. He could feel the fear in the hearts of the aliens on every inhabited planet in the vast void of space. He could even hear the groans of displeasure from the galaxy itself and the galaxies beyond, and the begging of every atom of the universe, begging him for mercy. He considered them all, weighed their worth, importance and potential to do him harm, to cause pain and suffering and hatred amongst themselves and others, and decided to aid the universe with a new start… but for a new start to begin, the old beginnings must end.

_Die._

The universe is not endless. Not like Death. And so, from the edges of the universe, the End began. Galaxies sighed as their innards were melted into nothingness, their stars crying as Death took them all one-by-one, the planets groaning in agony as they writhed with earthquakes and tremors before finally turning to dust. When the inside died, the galaxy died as well, and collapsed into darkness that was simply nothing. Galaxy by galaxy, the universe suffered its final fate, until all but the Milky Way was consumed. The stars around Sol fell as well, each one cursing his name for bringing about their end, until finally Sol himself, sick with grief and distraught with fear, fell to Death's touch as well. Each planet, all but Earth, fell as such, and inevitably, the death of mankind began.

Lilith-Shinji filled his ears with the screams of death, the genocide that he committed. He heard it, weighed it, and decided that it was good.

The realm of Delirium cannot be described by mortal words or mortal tongue. Suffice it to say, that chaos rules there, and order knows no place in such a realm. Until now. As Death walked calmly into Delirium's realm, the realm knew order, knew death, knew the meaning of the End. As Death approached Delirium, who sat crying cradling her only possession, the realm shut down until only a bare, neutral gray concrete floor remained. Delirium turned to Death, and showed her a wedding ring.

"I was married once… I was happy. I can go now." She let the ring fly into the air, watching it disintegrate before Death cradled Delirium's cheek with a soft hand.

The empty rooms and forgotten mirrors of Despair gave her reason. They were portals into the hearts of men and women, portals by which she could do her work. But now the mirrors shattered and the rooms vanished, and so when Death finally came to Despair, Despair could only shrug. Death offered her hand to the large womanly form that was Despair, and Despair gladly took it, saying, "It was a good End, the entire universe despaired before it perished, and so my role is done."

Desire's realm was always a pulsing passionate red of eerie chaotic design. But now the chaos left, and the red turned to blue, blue to purple, purple to black. Desire looked about his/her realm, satisfied with it's end, and offered _his_/_her_ hand to Death.

"Even when I'm gone, you'll still want Shinji, won't you?" He-she asked.

Death only nodded as she took her brother-sister's hand.

Death moved on to Destruction's realm, where he returned after several millennia of absence. The realm had already died before Death got there, but Destruction was there, and so she had to collect him in the dustbowl that was his decadent land. "I wish I came back earlier, I could have made this place a beautiful land of life… of creation," he began.

"I know you would've, little brother…" Death said, her smile now gone.

"Do not feel said about your siblings… it was inevitable. You knew that all along…"

"It doesn't mean I have to accept it… well, I guess it does, but I can be damn pessimistic about it." Death gave her small sad smile before reaching out to Destruction. Destruction ignored her at first, instead showing his red knapsack on a wooden stick. He opened it, revealing a broken silver sword. "I remember now why I left this position… I couldn't take it, having to aid you with your work so much." With that, Destruction's huge hand enveloped his sister's, and it was he who vanished to nothingness.

Daniel had replaced Morpheus as Dream, but all the same, the realm crumbled as Death walked through it. Dream's servants fell into obscurity, and Daniel could only shrug at the loss, having not had enough time to make any real connection to it all. Death came to Daniel, without words, and simply offered a hand. Daniel tried to run, only to have Death reappear in front of his path. As he tried to slow to a stop, Death poked an unforgiving finger into his chest.

Destiny read the last page of the book aloud in his garden, something he had never done before, something that was forbidden by the Furies. But they were gone now, and he wished to try it before he himself suffered the same fate.

"And so, Death's last stop, the garden of Destiny, began to fade. The statues of her siblings crumbled to dust as the pictures depicting their appearances ripped into strands of paper. Ever so slowly, the walkways began to unite, once twisting paths of loops and circles, now they merged and shifted until all that was left was a single straight path in nothingness, a path that Destiny walked upon. As he looked up from his reading, he saw that he came up to the edge of his walkway, and so the book that Destiny was bound to, the book in which he had written the First Word, the book that contained the universe itself, reached the End."

Destiny closed the book and looked up, only to see nothingness before him. Looking back, he saw Death behind him on the straight path in oblivion, the concrete walkway that was maybe ten centimeters thin, the only thing keeping him from falling forever. He turned to her, the book balanced in front of him and offered to Death. "It was a good Book, wasn't it?" he asked.

Death nodded. "Lots of good plot twists, lots of romance, lots of sadness… a balanced story." She took hold of the book, the essence of Destiny, and took it from the tall, robed old man. The chain that bound the book to him broke without effort at the tug. Just as the chain disintegrated, so did Destiny himself, and the book itself. The walkway vanished, and Death floated alone in oblivion, alone with the fading dust of the only sibling older than her. There was only one thing left to do.

* * *

Shinji sighed, and the universe was gone. All that remained were the souls that remained in his heart, floating there, awaiting the orders of the new God. _I don't want to be God… I just want to be… with her…_ Shinji cursed at how easily fooled he was. Third Impact passed, and he was not with Death, not as Lucifer Morningstar promised. Tricked by the devil, Shinji had no options left. A decadent God with no plan, no idea…

"Hello again!" Death greeted cheerfully, making Shinji stumble in the floating oblivion. Almost instantly they were both in Shinji's room, (a created mock-up of it, with Shinji's newfound power,) and Shinji fell upon the bed.

"You're… you're here… so he didn't lie—"

"I'm afraid he did… I must go too," Death said, her frown returning in full.

Shinji was filled with an empty sorrow, a despair that was no longer caused by an Endless, or by the realm thereof. Instead his despair came straight from the human spirit, a thing that made it so pure it was far worse than anything the old Despair could have crafted. "There must be some way to stop this!"

"There isn't, you are the new Creator, you destroyed the universe, now you must rebuild it in your image, by your plan… all that kind of stuff. You have to make your own Death, your own Destiny, etc. etc…"

"No! I want… I want you… I love you…" Shinji stammered out, the words still shy in his mouth.

Death blinked at him, then gave a simple smile. "Well, if that's how you feel… reject this." Shinji stared at her, and so she continued, "The Furies will be back, of course, and we will not be able to speak again until you die like a normal human… but we would see each other again. But if that's what you want, do it now, before the universe is forgotten altogether…"

Shinji frowned at the concept, life again, living again, pain again… but then… love again. Shinji nodded firmly at Death. "Then that's what I'll do."

"Then that's just peachy keen!" Death gave him a thumbs up, and everything went black.

* * *

The sand was cold to his flesh. Each sand crystal clung to his flesh for dear life, each one pure white, untouched by erosion, seawater, wind or dirt. _I'm…I'm alive._ Shinji sat up, feeling the itching pain of sand against bare flesh. He looked forward to see a sight that no mortal could have possibly seen before him. Lined up in front of him, the new Endless floating above the red water, framed by the huge decaying head of Lilith-Shinji. From left to right they stood, first with Death, her old self still, and the newer forms of the rest.

Destiny was now a young man, reading the first page in a newly crafted book. Dream is young as well, his flesh more muscular than gaunt, and his eyes shining with new ideas. Destruction gave a small smile, a teenager at best, and clutched a newly crafted silver longsword in his left hand. Desire had his/her own outfit, consisting of a transvestite-like leather dominatrix outfit. Despair, a morbid looking overweight woman, seemed focused more on cutting her arms with a broken shard of metal than the scene around her.

Most shocking was Delight. Now sane and in control, the teenage Delight seemed so sure of herself, it made Shinji's heart pulse with a surge of happiness. The Endless faded from view, leaving him to the desolate Earth. Looking up, he saw the stars, as they once were, alive and well. All about him he could see humans appearing on the beach, disoriented, but alive, perhaps more alive than they once more, now that Delirium was not part of the universe. Shinji left the scene, not wanting to meet those he once knew. They would know that he caused this temporary Hell, that he was responsible for the end of the Instrumentality Project, that he sacrificed their so-called salvation in the end of their universe.

Shinji had faced the End, and turned away from it. Now a new End would have to be written, and no one would know that until Destiny finishes his newest novel. All of this swirled in Shinji's mind, his ever-present smile never vanishing, his walk a calm and strolling one.

The Endless are back, and all's right in the world.


	10. Epilogue: The Death of Shinji Ikari

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to GAINAX, Vertigo, or DC. All rights reserved.

* * *

Epilogue: The Death of Shinji Ikari 

Somewhere in the fields near Tokyo-3, a hermit lives quite happily, pleased with his studies of the occult and his living off the land. As he ages, he sees many travelers, and he tells them his entire plan, his plan to be with Death, his end game that will be never-ending love. Some of his listeners look at him as though he's insane, some pretend they understand and leave before he can kill them like the psychos in the movies, and others, the very few, believe him. Most of the believers are children. Every time the hermit tells the story, it usually goes something like this:

"I'll die one day. But I figured it out, ya see. There's a Heaven and there's a Hell, and in between is Death and her realm, but no one can be there because one perceives one's self to be in Heaven or Hell. Until I was an adult, I always thought I'd deserve Hell. Afterwards, I thought I belonged in Heaven. But nowadays I know better. I deserve to be with her, and so when I go to her, she will touch my hand with hers, and I will die… but I won't go away. I'll stay there, there with the love of my life, because of my perception. She will cry tears of joy, as will I, and we'll kiss and hold each other in eternal happiness. From there on in, Death will not be so lonely, nor so unhappy inside. She will always have me and I will always have her. I read up on it, in books from the Vatican City, and it is all true. You won't know, but when I die, don't cry for me, because I'll be the happiest mortal soul of all time. Be you in Heaven, or be you in Hell, you lose love as an angel or devil… but with Death, you are yourself, and if you love her, you will know love for eternity."

One day, in 2088, when the farmlands began populating the area around the hermit's hut, the men and women who heard the story as children brought their children to hear the tale, only to discover the hermit passed away. The adults had told their children the story, and so while the adults wept at the passing of the man who inspired their lives, the man who's passing marked them even harder, the children only wanted to know if the hermit found his love. The parents nodded somberly before reporting the death and burying the body, free of charge or payment, for the hermit was a friend of the undertakers as well.

Only one boy, a doubtful soul, asked again, "Do you really think he went with Death, mommy? To be with her forever?"

The mother paused, and smiled. "Yes, honey, I bet he's holding her right now, loving her and cherishing her… forever."

Somewhere, in the realm between Heaven and Hell, Death smiles, naked in bed, cradled by the strong arms of her eternal lover. Shinji kisses the back of her neck, whispering, "I love you, my dearest Death." Death's heart still leapt when he said it, and she replied, "And I love you, my dearest Shinji." Together they remained… forever.


	11. Author's Final Notes

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to GAINAX, DC, Vertigo or Marvel. All rights reserved.

* * *

"_Because in the end, each sun, each world, every galaxy, will collapse and end, either into flame, or into darkness. And when that happens, she will be there, for each of us. **Now** do you understand?"_

"_Not really."_

"_She is Death."_

_­_Exchange between Lady Killalla and Sto-oa, _The Sandman: Endless Nights

* * *

_

Author's Final Notes

Well, the fanfic has ended, and I'm happy I came up with an ending that satisfied the majority of you. To those who read this from the first revised chapter, thank you for being patient. For those who read it upon completion or halfway through completion, I thank you as well for giving it a shot.

Now then, answering the reviews. I noticed a smattering of unfortunate comments about the ending being rushed. I proofread it a second time, just to make sure I didn't, and I realized why it sounded rushed, even though I took my sweet time in writing it, (I had a good four hours to myself at the college English lab.) While EoE had an extensive ending full of spiritual and philosophical double-meanings and purpose, it was more often than not thanks to the complicated issues Shinji himself was faced with at that point in the timeline. Asuka despising him, Misato morbidly depressed, and Rei turning out to be some form of cloned abomination of his mother, all on top of his rejection issues with his father and his own personal issues when dealing with his own self-hatred, (especially when it peaked at the opening of EoE,) all gave plenty of reason for his Third Impact to be chunk-full of stuff in EoE.

In this fanfic, all he cared about was Death. Death had given him love and pain, and it absorbed him into his purpose. With Morningstar whispering in his ear, he had no second thoughts and was completely focused on his goal, thanks to the gift of Vision from Delirium. So, when Third Impact happened, there really wasn't anything to do _besides_ meeting with Death, (hence why I went more into detail about Death clearing out the universe and the Endless.) So I can understand why that part seemed rushed.

As for his relatives and "friends" following him, he went into hiding, as implied by the fact that he took on the life of a hermit, living off the land and whatnot. NERV would have no interest in him, since Instrumentality was dead and gone, a failed project with nothing to show for it, and Misato wasn't that close. Gendo himself probably wouldn't have accepted life and would have decided to stay dead instead.

There will be no continuation of this storyline, but perhaps the birth of another one. Hell, I wouldn't even be against writing another EVA/Sandman, should another concept come to me...


End file.
